Question 385:
How do we deal with our parents and relatives :
- Who don’t pray except the Jumuah
- Who have some acts and beliefs of Shirk
- Who don’t order their women with Hijab
- Who think the compliance with the Religion is not obligatory.
Answer :
If they are fathers and mothers then you will be patient on them as Allah has said :
‘but behave with them in the world kindly‘ – Luqman – 15. And you don’t abandon them. You keep advising them until Allah guides them and you repeat the advise and be patient.
As for other than them, if abandoning them benefits then you abandon them (as a disciplinary action so that they make tawbah and perform the obligatory acts). If they don’t listen your advise and answer your directions then abandon them and stay away from them. This what compulsory regarding the sinners and who rebel against Allah. You don’t sit with them and don’t joke with them and don’t eat and drink with them, they are not qualified for that. This as a warning for them until they return from the falsehood that they have like leaving the prayer.
As for the acts and the beliefs of Shirk if the proof of Allah is established on them, then they will be considered as disbelievers and it is obligatory to abandon them. If they are ignorant they are advised and directed. If they answer it is fine otherwise a person stays away from them, that is safe. This for other than parents and as for parents it is not permitted to abandon them.
Asma bint abi bakr (Radiallahu anhuma) said to the Messenger of Allah (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) “My mother (who was a disbeliever) has come to me and she desires to receive a reward from me, shall I keep good relations with her?” The Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam)said, “Yes, keep good relation with her.” (Al Bukhari – 2620). So a person keeps relationship with his disbelieving parents while staying away from their false religion and with warning from that false religion.
Answered by : Shaykh Abu Bilal Al Hadhrami
Translated by : AbdnNoor Al Hindi