Answered by our Shaykh, the ‘Allaamah, the Trustworthy Advisor, Abu ‘Abdirrahman Yahya bin ‘Ali Al-Hajoori – may Allaah preserve him –
Question:
My wife used to wear concealing garments from a overcoat, jilbab and a hijab which covers the face. However she has now taken off the jilbab and (only) wears the hijab which covers the face and the overcoat. However this overcoat is tight from the top but is ok from the bottom, and on top of this overcoat she wears a tight coat and her hands are also uncovered.
And when I order her to wear the jilbab and gloves she says: “I have become old now and I am 32 years of age no one will look at me and I won’t look at anyone.”
She also leaves the house without my permission despite her knowledge of the legislative ruling (in regards to this) and she says:
“I have obeyed you for many long years and now I must make my own decisions because I have become older.” Give us a legislative ruling may you be rewarded. And how should I behave with this woman knowing I have 4 kids with her?
Answer:
It is waajib upon the woman to obey her husband in (everything) other than that which is disobedience to Allah, and from that is obeying his order in wearing the legislative hijab, and not to leave the house except with his permission. The prophet ﷺ has said:
“لو كنت آمراً أحدا أن يسجد لأحد لأمرت المرأة أن تسجد لزوجها”
“If i was to order anyone to prostrate to anyone I would have ordered the woman to prostrate to her husband”
So if she wants, as mentioned in the question, to take control of her own life based upon her assumption that she has become older, and she refuses to be obedient to him then he may discipline her or divorce her.
Except if she adheres to the order of Allah and knows that the guardianship is for the husband, Allah says:
(الرِّجَالُ قَوَّامُونَ عَلَى النِّسَاءِ بِمَا فَضَّلَ اللَّهُ بَعْضَهُمْ عَلَىٰ بَعْضٍ وَبِمَا أَنْفَقُوا مِنْ أَمْوَالِهِمْ ۚ …)
[Surat An-Nisa’ 34]
Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means.
Translated by : Abu Huthayfah Saamy Al-hindy
Original Fatwa : http://m.sh-yahia.net/show_fatawa_1585.html