Answered by our Shaykh, the ‘Allaamah, the Sincere Adviser, Abu ‘Abdirrahman Yahya bin ‘Ali Al-Hajoori – may Allaah preserve him –
Question : A man used to disobey his mother so she made du’aa against him, then she passed away. So what should he do, should he give charity on her behalf?
Answer :
The life is an opportunity (to gain good deeds), and the presence of the parents is an opportunity, and the entering of ramadhan is an opportunity, the seasons of blessings and khair and the presence of places of knowledge are an opportunity and wasting opportunities is a loss wallaah!
And you the know the hadeeth of Abu Hurairah -may Allah be pleased with him- :
:رغم أنف من أدرك أبويه عند الكبر أحدهما أو كليهما فلم يغفر له”
May his nose be soiled with dust the one whose parents, one of them or both of them, attain old age in his lifetime and he is not forgiven.
“قال النبي ﷺ “آمين
The prophet ﷺ said Ameen.
Jibreel making the du’aa and Muhammad ﷺ saying Ameen.
Jibreel the most virtuous of the angels, and Muhammad ﷺ the most virtuous of mankind. One of them making du’aa while the other saying ameen.
“بعد من أدرك رمضان فلم يغفر له”
May he be distanced the one who reaches ramadaan and is not forgiven.
“بعد من ذكرت عنده ولم يصل علي”
May he be distanced the one whose presence I am mentioned in and he does not invocate for me.
“بعد من أدرك والديه فلم يغفر له “
May he be distanced the one whose parents attain old age in his lifetime and he is not forgiven.
So this is an opportunity to be forgiven for sins (i.e. being dutiful towards your parents), we Ask Allaah ﷻ for his tawfeeq.
And to match that up with ungratefulness is lowly. To match that up with sins and ungratefulness is vile.
Even the sinful and corrupted from mankind would not be pleased with that (to be shown ungratefulness after having been kind).
A corrupted devious individual wouldn’t be pleased with the likes of this, (even) he would consider it to be lowly.
It is a customary manner so what do you think about the orders of Allaah ﷻ and the orders of his messenger ﷺ to be obedient towards the parents to the point where he has linked their rights to his rights:
(وَقَضَىٰ رَبُّكَ..)
And your lord has decreed..
Meaning: ordered and advised..
(…أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوا إِلَّا إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا ۚ.. )
…that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents.
[Surat Al-Isra’ 23]
I.e: he has decreed and ordered and advised to be dutiful to your parents. And whoever rejects that has turned away and left off the advise of Allaah ﷻ. And he isn’t one who implements the advises of his Lord.
In summary (disobedience to your parents) is a major sin from the major sins, those who do not know of these rights fall into it and whosoever falls into it then upon him is to Hasten to repentance (from Allaah), seeking forgiveness and seeking his mothers happiness if she is still alive. As for after her death then he has no other choice except to:
• make du’aa for her and to increase in that
• give sadaqah on her behalf
• be kind to her close relatives
“إن أبر البر صلة الرجل ود أبيه”
Verily (From the) finest acts of piety is to keep ties with his father’s loved ones.
Being good to her close relatives and to those who she used to be kind to. And this is piety. And Ask Allaah ﷻ to pardon you (for your disobedience towards her) due to the saying of Allaah ﷻ:
“(..إنه كان توابا..)”
Verily, He is the One Who accepts the repentance and forgives.
(..وتوبوا إلى الله جميعا أيها المؤمنون لعلكم تفلحون)
And all of you beg Allaah to forgive you all, O believers, that you may be successful.
And also due to the orders of Allaah ﷻ which indicate to seeking repentance.
So whoever was sinful in that which relates to the rights of Allaah and then sought repentance, then Allaah ﷻ will pardon him. And the rights which were between the slave and between his disobedience to his parents and his relatives and the rest of the people etc.. if he corrects himself in that which is between him and Allaah ﷻ then Allaah will correct that which is between him and his slaves.
Translated by : Abu Huthayfah Saamy Al-hindy
Original Fatwa : https://t.me/sh_yahia_duroos/5802