Imām An-Nawawi may Allāh have mercy on him said;
The permissibility of the menstruating woman washing the hair of her husband and combing it and the purity of the rest of her body and reclining in her room and reading Quran in it.
8 – (297) Hārūn bin Saīd Al-Aylī narrated to me, he said Ibn Wahb narrated to us, he said Amr bin Al-Hārith informed us, on the authority of Muhammad bin Abdirrahmān bin Nawfal, on the authority of Urwah bin Az-Zubair, on the authority of Ā’ishah the wife of the Prophet ﷺ, she said: “The Messenger of Allāh ﷺ used to lean his head to me while I was in my chamber menstruating so I would comb his hair.”
10 – (297) Abu Bakr bin Abi Shaibah narrated to us, he said Hussein bin Alī narrated to us, on the authority of Zā’idah, on the authority of Mansūr, on the authority of Ibrāhīm, on the authority of Al-Aswad, on the authority of Ā’ishah, she said: “I used to wash the hair of the Messenger of Allāh ﷺ while I was mestruating.”
Benefit: Kissing the hand is in opposition to the Sunnah and there is no kissing of hands in the authentic Hadiths, and what the Yemenis have become accustomed to of everyone kissing the hand of the other is in opposition to the Sunnah, the Sunnah is shaking hands and hugging. And also placing each others nose together is not from hugging, hugging is placing the neck upon another’s, they made exception of kissing the hand of the father, as for upon totality it is a mistake.
The point of benefit in mentioning this Hadith is the purity of the menstruating woman and the permissibility of her washing her husbands hair and touching pure things.
Benefit: It is benefited from this the good companionship and manners of the wife and that she up keeps what brings about ease to him according to her capability and legislated limits. As for the statement of some scholars and they are many, they say it is not obligatory upon her. This is opening up the door to altercation and divorce because marital life is built upon cooperation.
Answered by: Shaykh, the Allamah, the Trustworthy Advisor, Abu Abdirrahman Yahya bin Ali Al-Hajuri – may Allah preserve him
Translated by: Abu ‘Abdillāh ‘Omar bin Yahya Al-‘Akawi