He (the questioner) says:
Upon which of the two should the man begin spending upon? His parents or his wife?
The wife, and Allah knows best, for they (women) are (like) Awān with you. What’s the meaning of Awān? Captives. The apparent is it’s the wife, if clashing occurred then it’s the wife.
The father if he was unable (to spend upon himself) then it’s obligatory upon the son to spend upon him, obligatory. However, upon clashing (between the two) then the apparent is it would be the wife (who gets priority) and Allah knows best.
Alright, and the opposite? For example the wife, a clash between the command of the father and the command of her husband, who does she proceed/put first?
There’s a clash, her father orders her with something, and her husband orders her with something and she’s unable to combine between both, she either has to carry out this or that, she’s to fulfil the order of who?
The husband, yes she fulfils the order of her husband. This – and Allah knows best – is that the woman fulfils the order of her husband. And likewise in regards to the husband in what relates to spending, the wife comes first.
Shaykh Abu Hamza Hassan bin Muhammed Ba Shu’ayb – may Allah preserve him
Abu Mālik Nāsir Al-Ma’mary